Can you stop your parents sharing pictures for yourself?


The father gives a selfie child who is cryingCopyright Photograph
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Sharenting – an harmless sport or an invasion of privacy?

You like it or hate it, parents are on the way to social media, and it seems they are there to stay.

It's a good way to stay in communication – and he always looks at your parents trying to self-view or use emojis.

But if they share your pictures online without your permission – and then don't understand the privacy settings – did they go over the line?

And – if you want to – how will you influence them to take the photographs down?

"Sharenting" – the activity of parents who share news and pictures of their children online – is in the news after Gwyneth Paltrow has written for her and his daughter, Apple Martin, who is 14 years old. age.

Over 150,000 people liked the photo, but Apple was less proud of writing (from its Instagram private account): "We've talked about this. You can't post anything without my email. permission. "

Paltrow answered: "You can't even see yourself!"

Many Paltrow fans have argued, like his mother, that she had the right to share photographs of her daughter – but others say that children deserve a lot. privacy too.

Why do people get upset?

Strangely, children are not allowed to register with most social media until they are 13 – this means that some teenagers who keep up with rules are getting horrified. taken online.

Konrad Iturbe, a 19-year-old software developer in Spain, says he had a "big awakening" when he realized that his parents had been posting pictures online.

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Konrad Iturbe

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Konrad: "Back in the day, the pictures went, but now everything is online and it stands for ever"

"My mother had Instagram before I had a phone even – and I didn't even know I had been portrayed of my images," he told the BBC.

“I don't like pictures on-line anyway – I don't even add images to me from my Instagram account – and when I followed my mother and I saw her profile , I said to her; take this down, "you did not give you permission."

He says that he is feeling "a breach of privacy". He was particularly disturbed because it had been portrayed as a young child, and his mother's Instagram account was open to the public.

"I did not want to share the photos of my young people with something pretty close," he says that he is also concerned about "recognizing alms" and people being able to start looking for me when I am older.

Sonia Bokhari, a 14-year-old in the USA, had the same chance when she first started on Twitter and Facebook.

Writing in a Quick Company magazine, she says: "When I saw the pictures she took [her mother] I had been posting on Facebook for years, I was totally ashamed, and deeply betrayed.

"Then, for anyone to see on his Facebook Facebook account, every time that was terrible from my childhood: the letter I wrote to a dentist when I was five years old – how old I was crying when I was a child, and even holiday pictures when I was 12 and 13 that I didn't know it.

Not everyone feels “miserable”, though Charlotte Christy, who is 23 years of age, and lives in London, says she is personal to him. • It's very normal.

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Charlotte Christy

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Charlotte, from the USA, says she is now used to sharing her mother's picture

She was 13 when her mother started to upload pictures of her on Facebook. "She would put my ear and it would be my life because everyone saw him. I thought it was shame, but I was not upset about asking her to take it t did.

"I feel we are living in a community where everyone wants their pictures to be very fashionable – but if my mother has a mythical picture I'm not bothered . "

“I think I'm sharing pictures of my mother just as well as sharing pictures for me – I think it's a natural thing to share and I'm not to see why I should get permission.

Can humiliation; being dangerous?

For Sarah (not real name), a 29-year-old health professional in Hong Kong, what bothered her thing the secret of privacy.

“When I was 21, my mother sent me on Facebook, and I saw that she had given me lots of pictures of my life – when I was a child in my 20s." BBC.

"Her public appointments were, so I was just dangerous. I didn't want my child's drawings to put everyone off, and I knew from Google, that you can find someone's name using the images They are far away from me – online technology companies have more data about how I look.

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Experts point out the possibility of cyberbullying could be discouraged

Andra Siibak, professor of media studies at Tartu University in Estonia, has carried out a number of studies on “history”.

In one study involving Estonian children aged nine to 13, she found that children enjoyed “parents sharing positive things about it”, but “there were big differences between children and parents thought it was nice pictures ”.

"Children didn't want parents to share straightforward feelings – for example, if their hair was being raided or they didn't have a dress they didn't like."

“In many cases parents do not think of these things as a big problem, but for those teenagers who might be affected by their self-image or it could be the result of bullying t cyber.

Another "danger" of "striking away" from digital switchover, is Professor Siibak, where strangers get public photos of children, and used them for false or sexual purposes. .

Should parents be more concerned with their pupils?

Dr Siibak says that many parents feel, as the adult, that they are dependent on their child's well-being, and that they don't need their child's permission as long as they think That the images don't do any harm.

However, she says that parents should “totally” go to the concern of the children's mysteries.

“By creating a simple debate that involves children on the types of pictures they like, and if it's okay to upload them, this can help build better relationships t parent and child.

Parents often set strict internet usage rules for their children to protect their privacy, but the “rules are only relevant to children, not adults in the family”.

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Professor Siibak says he can comment on social media practice building on trust

Konrad and Sarah both say that their parents initially voiced their concerns – partly as a result of a lack of understanding of internet privacy.

“At first I was mocking my mother and she said,“ nobody is going to visit him – he's just for friends ”, though his profile Instagram was open to everyone,” Konrad said. Finally, having explained his privacy concerns, she realized, and is now asking for her permission to post.

Meanwhile, Sarah says that when she asked her mother to change her privacy circumstances, her mother was "very offensive at first".

“She said she was proud of me and wanted to share things about me online … when I tried to explain it t [my privacy concerns] she didn't understand and said everything is checked online anyway.

"I don't think many parents understand cyber security as much as we would like, because their generation was born without the internet."

Eventually, Sarah says that her mother agreed to change her privacy times to “friends only”, although she receives more than 1,000 Facebook friends and most of them, not least she does not know – so that is still a very public way! "

"After I've been pulling at me, I also started getting in for a friend from her friends too.

"Thank you God she doesn't know how to use Instagram yet."

How can you prove to parents that they are changing?

It is complex – especially since there is no way to stop them physically or legally. Often it comes to persuasion – or compromise.

Konrad praises his compassion in the ways they can understand.

“I would say – how would you feel if the grandparents who sent you pictures were doing embarrassing things in front of a newspaper? Back in the day, the pictures disappeared, but now everything is online and will be forever.

Meanwhile, Sarah says: "It was better to keep up the truth and not be aware of it."

“When I was using feelings – telling my mother I was very horrific in the child's pictures, or that I felt the pictures were confusing because I didn't have enough clothes – she would say '' Not only people see cute. '

"Although I have explained the facts about internet security, and we didn't know what to do with these pictures, my mother agreed to be more careful."

Her mother is still taking photos without permission, but Sarah sees her mother's improved privacy options as a reasonable compromise – and she also has her own job.

"Essentially, I changed my privacy settings so that my friends won't see the photos my mother put on me."

She also admits that, for many parents, they share pictures of their children as a way of 'expressing love'.

"It is a way for them to show how they miss their children [if they don’t live together] – one of the main reasons I decided not to stop it.

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